Pianissimo, But Con Gusto

   And now, ladies and gentlemen -- the  
Columbia University Marching Quartet! 
That's what the fans were treated to on 
Saturday during halftime  of Penn's 42-7 
win over Columbia at Franklin Field in 
Philadelphia.  Their ranks depleted by the 
Rosh Hashanah holiday, only 4 of 60 
musical Lions made the road trip fron New 
York. Undaunted by their chamber-music 
size, the Columbians waded boldly into 
Bethoven's triumphal Ode to Joy.  Then, in 
a tribute to the late New York artist 
Jackson Pollock, the band grabbed streamers 
and formed an abstract expressionist 
painting on the field. Finally the 
instrumentalists rendered a map of Philly 
which, the announcer said, included "all of 
the city's major points of interest." One 
member of the quartet held up a sign saying 
LIBERTY BELL, then a bandmate held up a 
sign saying EXIT, and the ensemble hurried 
off the field.  W. C. Fields would have 
chuckled.