1966-10-15 - Yale

Half-Time Show

Ladies and Gentlemen, today the Columbia College Baby Blue Band dicusses a vitalYale rpoblem, Hew Haven social life. Unbeknownst to the general public, a severecrisis faces today's Yale man. FOr shortly after his arrival at New Haven, thefreshman discovers that members of the opposite sex no longer swoon at the verymention on Old Eli, or even at the sight of a 3-piece suit topped by a derby.Yes, the problem of what to do of a Saturday night, which has afflicted the restof the world for so long, had finally caught up with the Yalie.[Band marches to midfield.]Hoping to line up prospects for future engagements, the Yale man often takes thethe streets of scenic, cosmoplitan New Haven. Here he engages in the age-oldsport of girl watching. What does the myopic Yalie use to increase his visualperception of the female form? A pain of Horn rimmed glasses, of course.[Band forms glasses. Play "Standin' on the Corner."]True to its tradition of public spirited-ness, the Baby Blue Band has determinedto help out is unfortunate friends by establishing its own computer-datingsystem, called "Operation Snatch." Question #3 asks the Yalie, "which sexpreferred?" Unable to decide so weighty a question, he flips a coin. But much tohis dismay, it comes up "head" every time. And we know why.[Band forms question mark. Play "Freshman Up At Yale."]One of the major faults of other computer date services is their multiple choiceformat. However, in our improved version, we have included essay-type questions.Thus question #37 reads, "Describe exactly what qualities your date shouldpossess. Be complete but brief." The clutching apron strigs you now see on thefield symbolize the often Complex answers recieved from Old Eli.[Band forms apron strings. Play "I Want A Girl (Like The One Who Married Dad)."]Even our dating service is not without its drawbacks. Only a small, select groupof females hsa been found to be completely compatible with Yale men-- thosecommonly known as bulldogs. Yes, even the cleverest computer dating service inthe world can't solve the Yalie's dilemma. Unhappy and frustrated as ever, hemust eventually face up to a harsh, undeniable fact of life.[Band forms bulldog. Play "Can't Buy Me Love."]Ladies and gentlemen, the Columbia College Alma Mater.[Band forms C. Play "Sans Souci."]