1966-11-05 - Dartmouth
THE CLEVERST BAND IN THE WORLD
November 1966
Dear Sir,
The members of the Columbia University Baby Blue Band would like to thank you for your warm reception at the Dartmouth-Columbia game on 5 November and for your interest in our "suppressed" half-time show. Please find enclosed a copy of the script of this show.
It was truly unfortunate that we were unable to perform the show. It seems your Athletic Department found it not to be the right type of entertainment for impressionable college students. What was more exasperating, however, was that we were not even allowed to announce that the show had been censored. A truly sad state of affairs! (By the way, during our pre-game show, your announcer also "forgot" to say that our formation honoring the Dartmouth Indian was a loin-cloth. Another obvious bit of objectionable material!)
As you well know, this unfortunate occurrence did not hamper the Band spirit. We hope that you enjoyed our antics in the stands as much as we enjoyed presenting them. Who knows, perhaps youll be seeing us again during the basketball season!
Congratulations on your excellent record this year. We hope to give you a harder time next year. But even if the football team continues to lose, the Band will again go undefeated!
Once again, thank you for your enthusiasm and spirit. Read the show and enjoy it. But remember: it's copyrighted!
Very truly yours,
THE MANAGING BOARD
Halftime
Ladies and Gentlemen: Presenting the Columbia University Planned Parenthood Marching Band.
[Band marches out to "The Billboard" March]
Recently the news media have been filled with stories which indicate that such diverse institutions as the Columbia University Administration, the Vatican Ecumenical Council, and the health services of Ivy institutions have focused their attention on a cogent problem facing students in the world at large -- birth control.
[Band forms Belt (pictured)]
At Columbia and Barnard, administrators gave what is by now a characteristic response about policy -- a refusal to comment followed by a slamming of the office door. The band now forms the only birth control device which seems acceptable to these functionaries, a chastity belt. Formation courtesy of the Smithsonian Institute.
[Play "I Hear You Knocking, But You Can't Come In", Form Calendar]
The Vatican Ecumenical Council spent much time discussing the issue. In the end, however, the only method which avoided condemnation was the rhythm method. The Band now forms a regular calendar.
[Play "I've Got Rhythm", Form Pill]
Last year the Brown University Health Services made news by prescribing pills for Pembroke girls. A doctor's prescription is required, however, because of the possible harmful side effects, such as localized swelling. Forming a recommended daily dosage, the Band describes what happened to one girl.
[Play "June Is Bustin' Out All Over", Form Shotgun]
Sometimes, however, the best laid plans of mice and men do go astray, and anxious grandpas-to-be enforce a trip to the altar to secure society's blessing for the blessed event. Working out of its shotgun formation, the Band now reveals the desire of many a blushing bride.
[Play "Get Me to the Church on Time", Form C][Play "Sans Souci"]
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