1976-10-30 - Dartmouth
Pre-game
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Cleverest Band in the World, the Columbia University Marching Band
[Fanfare]
J. Jimbo Miller, Head Manager
J. Lulu Freeberg, Drum Major
and featuring the entire Columbia University Marching Band dressed for Winter
[Fanfare]
Welcomes itself to beautiful Hangover, New Hampshire.
[Form $]
Noting that Vice President Nelson Rockefellar is a Dartmouth alumnus, the Band now realizes where the Big Green comes from. We wonder if Rocky would Chase the new co-eds at Dartmouth if he was still an undergraduate, and would the girls from Hanover Trust him? Banking on Rocky's age, the Band feels sure that the girls are saving their fund for relationships based on sounder foundations. Since this pre-game show makes no cents, the Band offers a thousand dollars to anyone who laughs (pause) last.
[Play "We're In The Money", Form C][Play "Roar Lion Roar"]
Halftime
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Columbia University Royal Marching Baby Bluebloods; Elizabeth the 2nd, Head Manager, Pippin the Good, Drum Major, King Faisal on the Oil Drum, and featuring Nat King Cole on the high note, Robert Vesco- King Of The Road, The King Family as the royal troupe, Brewster, Kingman of Yale, and chicken a la king, tips its crowns to, you guessed it, the great kings of history.
[Play "Pomp and Circumstance", Form VIII]
Henry the VIII, midwife to the English Reformation, considered the affairs of state to be merely extra-marital. Like all good husbands, Henry was not always with his wives. Boleyn over all the young ladies, Henry was not a pAragon of virtue. Tudoring his young companions in love, he did not hesitate to marry anyone he got in trouble, or get in trouble anyone he married.
[Play "Get Me To The Church On Time", Form A Stick Man whose head falls off]
Son of son of the Sun King, Louis the 16th of France was deluged with public requests for bread. But, since he had already mortgaged Versailles, he could not scrape together enough dough. Marie Antoinette, his royally bread wife, offered this suggestion: "Things go batter with Cake". But this did little to leaven the situation, and Louis declaired that heads would roll if his ministers did nothing about the rise in the price of baked goods.
[Play "Going Out Of My Head", Form Heart]
Meanwhile, back in the forest, a gay band of men in green leotards, Maid Marion, and that great chicken, fryer Tuck, led by that hood Robin, advanced a rather primitive policy of revenue sharing. We salute this early phalanx of political criminals for providing a precedent for Good King Richard's present day activities. Following Richard's lead, the band reverses Robin's old ethic, and steals from the poor and give to the rich, lyin' heartly all the way.
[Play "Roar Lion Roar", Form A Smiling Face]
Towering over all the other kings in history, yet aping their ways, King Kong came to New York City in order to find gorilla his dreams. Tolerating no Monkey Business, Kong set his new-found love atop the highest rise in the world-- the Empire State Building. But he finally decided that the young lady was not his type, and, yes, she had no bananas; so he dropped her-- making quite a splat on the New York scene. Rumor had it, however, that it was the girl who did not find King Kong attractive.
[Play "Baby Face", Form C]
Ladies and Gentlemen, and members of the Hanover Police Department, please rise and sing with us, the Columbia College Alma Mater.
[Play "Sans Souci"]