1993-09-18 - Harvard

Pre-Game

Ladies and gentlemen, and Harvard students, back despite TomCruise's acting career, the firmest band in the world, the ColumbiaUniversity Marching Dead Lawyers. [Fanfare]
J. Patrick Lambert - Pot head
J. James Stoterau - Hot head
J. Kathy Wrightson - Air head
and J. Herve Villachez - Dead head[Fanfare]welcomes itself back, for the first time in a long time, to curvaceous,shapely, wide-open, easily-accesible and yet still...virginal Soldier'sField, where we're sure that the Lions will leave a Crimson stain in thedirt, the game will be as close as the gap between President Rupp's frontteeth and the score will be as low as the morals of the average Radcliffe student.[Band "marches" on and plays Who Owns]Recently it seems that because of an agreement between the PLO andIsrael, peace has threatened to invade the Middle East. Yeah, right; andin other news pigs have agreed to fly out my butt, hell has agreed tofreeze over and dogs and cats have agreed to cohabitate. Because of theagreement , PLO leader Yassir Arafat is said to be in the running for theAnwar Sadat Memorial Peace Award, named in memory of the last man to makepeace with Israel. The Band, for one, has faith in the violent and destructivenature of mankind and so, in honor of Anwar and Yassir, the Bandwill now form peace in the Middle East and play what happened to one manand may soon happen to the other...Wipeout. [Amorph violently. Play Wipeout. Surf. RUN AWAY!]

Halftime

Ladies and Gentlemen, and the Harvard Football Team, back despiteVince Coleman blowing some kid's eye out, the most easily combustible bandin the world, the Columbia University Marching Pyromaniacs... [Fanfare]
J. Hurricane Emily - Blowing Out To Sea
J. Sheik Abdul Rahman - Blowing Up the World Trade Center
and J. Michael Jackson - Blowing his Career[Fanfare]featuring George Rupp on the way in, the rest of Columbia's administrationon the way out and Harvard graduates like Conan O'Brian going nowhere,presents an all-star half-time salute to several completely unrelatedtopics. [Play Who Owns]Recently it seems that the Crack Precision Marching Band PoliticalInvestigative Unit has uncovered a confidential rough draft of the Clintonadministration's Health Care Plan. While Hillary Clinton is the primaryauthor of the plan, a quick read showed several areas where Bill'sinfluence was quite clear. These areas included health care coverage for: girlfriends and mistresses, drug rehab (but only for those who didn'tinhale), lamp wounds and genetic therapy for inbred Arkansas families(...and the Kennedys). In honor of this bold thrust by the administration, the Band willnow form a syringe, complete with squirting medicine, and play I Hear YouKnocking But All Our Emergency Operators Are Busy, Please Stand By. [Form syringe, play Knocking (again)]More recently it seems that the excitement over the impendingnuptials of Massechusetts own favorite son, Happy Happy Jon Jon Kennedy,and his main squeeze, Darryl Hannah, created quite a media splash. Martha's Vineyard has been awash with all the attention. Though it wasthought that she had landed him and had him by the gills, they were neverquite able to take the plunge into marital bliss. After finally passingthe bar, something few Kennedy's have accomplished, Jon Jon borrowed hisuncle's 57 Cadillac in an ill fated attempt to elope. Rumour has it thatthe story came to a tragic finish as he took a wrong turn on theChappaquidick bridge. It looks like he won't be getting any tail.In tribute to the Kennedy clan the Band now forms the ChappaquidickBridge and plays Under the Sea.[Form bridge. Play UDC]Even more recently it seems, the International Olympic Committeeis on the verge of announcing the host city for year 2000 Olympic Games. Word has leaked out that Bejing has become the front runner with theseThe Olympic Committee seems impressed with these offerings, butthe problem with having the games in China is that after 2 years you'reready for another Olympics. In honor of this Olympic bid, the Band nowforms the 5 olympic rings in the new world order and plays Gimme SomeOppression. [Form five non-interlocking rings. Play GSL. RUN AWAY!]