1999-10-30 - Princeton
Pregame
Ladies and Gentlemen, and, Princetones, back despite popular demand, it's the cleverest band in the world, the Columbia University Marching Band.
[fanfare]
featuring
J. Allegra Blackburn-Dwyer - head manager
J. Rachale Miller - drum major
and J. Randall Allsup - beastmaster
[fanfare]
welcomes itself to sparkling new Princeton Ice Hockey Rink, er Stadium, in white bread Princeton, New Jersey, where we're sure the Columbia offense will toast the opposition, the Princeton D will be milked for dozens of points, and the Lions will make the Tigers part of this complete breakfast.
You Princetonians are probably here to watch a good, clean football game, with lots of hitting and tackling, and you're probably all sick to death of the controversy over baby-killing bio-ethicist Peter Singer. But we in the band dug up a rather interesting quote from presidential candidate and Princeton grad Steve Forbes on the issue. "That is one fine lady. Though we are separated by many years, we share many things in common and have a beautiful relationship together. I'm sure she will do a fine job at Princeton. What? Baby-killer? I thought you said babysitter. Um, never mind." The band now forms a babysitter and plays
[ ]
Halftime
Damas y caballeros. Y estudiantes de Princeton. Volviendo a pesar de mando popular, es la banda mas lista del mundo, la banda marchando de Columbia University.
[fanfare]
con
J. Payne Stewart en cielo
J. la banda en fuego
y J. Tony Gwynn en San Diego
[fanfare]
La banda esta patrocinada por Coca-Cola. Todo el mundo toma Coca-Cola, y
nadie toma Pepsi-Cola. Entonces, toma Coca-Cola. Siempre Coca-Cola.
[Coke fanfare]
Pepe: Donde estoy?
Juana: Estas en un partido de futbol, Pepe.
Pepe: Pero donde estan los goleadores?
Juana: No es futbol, Pepe, es futbol americano.
Pepe: Ay, futbol americano. Pero donde estan toda la gente?
Juana: Pues, no es exactamente el "Sabado Gigante Internacional." Estamos en Princeton University.
Goleadores. (pause) Goleadores. (pause) Sabado Gigante Internacional. (pause) Sabado Gigante Internacional.
Ahora la banda forma un "Sabado Gigante Internacional" y toca "Barbie Girl."
[Barbie Girl]
Pepe: Ah, Princeton University. Alli ensena el profesor que aboga la matanza de ninos.
Juana: Si, Peter Singer.
Pepe: Pues, podemos sugerir que el mate la chihuahua de Taco Bell?
Juana: Ay, yo odio a ese perro.
Pepe: Claro, yo tambien.
Juana: Quieres bailar la Macarena?
Pepe: Me encanta la Macarena!
Chalupa (pause). Chalupa (pause). Sabado Gigante Internacional (pause).
Sabado Gigante Internacional.
Ahora la banda baila la macarena y toca "Pinball Wizard."
[Pinball Wizard]