2001-10-20 - Dartmouth
{no pre-game? bad records? you decide.. then tell us}
Half-Time
Ladies and Gentlemen, and those who harbor the Dartmouth band, back despite popular demand, it's the cleverest band in the world, the Columbia University Marching Band!
[fanfare]
featuring
J. Colin Powell - Around the World in 80 days
J. American People - Great Expectations
and J. Bert from Sesame Street - Please, just leave me out of this
[fanfare]
as well as a movie season full of crap, a tv season full of crap, and the idea of staring into a campfire for entertainment looking attractive, the band now presents an all-star gala half-time salute to tarnished childhood memories.
[Who Owns]
Last week marked the 75th birthday of one of the greatest stars of children's literature, Winnie The Pooh. But despite all the fanfare associated with this milestone, the years have not been kind to Pooh Bear and all of his friends. Pooh himself fell into a deep depression in 1993 when life partner Piglet became a scientologist, and recently went into therapy with Rabbit and Tigger for a diet pills addiction that came after years of honey binging. And things haven't gotten any better for poor old Eeyore, who recently had to undergo double hip-replacement surgery and still has to deal with his chronic tail detachment problems. Oh well. In honor of getting older the band now forms Eeyore and his tail and plays "Happy Together."
[form donkey and tail, Play happy together]
To the suprise of many, the denziens of the Hundred-Acre Wood have taken up residence in Hanover, using the Dartmouth campus as a sort of retirement fun park. Tigger has been particularly pleased with the setting. He told the band, "Back in Hollywood, I was just another old guy past his prime, coming off a failed movie. Here in Hanover, it seems like everyone on campus wants a piece of me!" Owl has proven to be the exception to this migration, because he's too smart to go to Dartmouth. The students of the college are finding the arrangement to be highly equitable. One Dartmouth sorority sister told us, "Even at 75, he's still an untamed beast... I'd let him into my honey pot anytime." In honor of matches made in heaven the band now forms a honey pot and plays the only other song it knows, "I Think We're Alone Now."
[form honey pot, play fantasy]
Run Away!